A Divisive Person Is Like Cancer If Unchecked

Many believers refuse to speak to a person who is causing division in the body of Christ because they are friends with this type of person or they just don’t like confrontation, so they stay silent. I’m not talking about correcting a person for every little word, or rebuking people because they understand a certain scripture verse differently than you. I’m talking about people who move with an angry spirit, who disrupts the body of Christ wherever they go.

When a person in our friendship circle GOSSIPS about another person do we challenge their behavior and attitude? When a person we are friends with is caught SHARING LIES about another person do we take it upon ourselves to challenge them right then and there, or do we sympathize with them about those lies because there is some small measure of truth in what they say? Some people just chalk it up to people needing to blow off steam and because they are friends let the gossip or lies lay were they land?

Everyone in the body of Christ is responsible for caring about the welfare of those nearest to them in relationship, and that caring should include helping people who are struggling with relational conflict in a loving and biblical way. If the people we know are acting out in anger, jealousy, resentment or any other manifestation that is contrary to walking with God, we should take it upon ourselves too lovingly, but firmly, question statements or accusations that are clearly wrong. The best time to confront people who are walking in the flesh is when they are not walking in the truth and they don’t seem to be hindered in such ungodly ways..

The purpose of Christian leadership is to guide the family of God to maturity and fulfilling the great commission. They are given the charge by God to guard the His people against those who walk in sin like gossip and other sins in the body of Christ. If we, as individual Christians, are waiting for the leadership to spot these sins without the knowledge we have as their friends, we do the leadership a great disservice. Matthew 18 speaks loudly about the need to confront sinful behavior in fellow believers when the sin is obvious and confirmed by others.

Matthew 18:15

If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 

Here is a good gauge of whether we love one another as Jesus taught. First Jesus says if your BROTHER sins meaning you have an ongoing relationship with this person. I do not think if you see a person in some type of sin that we all are called to rebuke or confront them. Relationship means we have already shown we love this person and care for their welfare and thus have a vested interest in protecting them by pointing out another fault. We all are called to love one another and love requires that we want to do the enjoyable things like sharing meals with each other and the hard things like challenging behavior or words spoken. This does not mean we go around rebuking people we don’t know, but when sin is apparent in the people we do know and consider friends we should speak to them privately for their sake and for the sake of the health of the body of Christ.

Now to be sure, there are those in the body of Christ that go around as “FRUIT INSPECTORS” just wanting to point at weaknesses in others and this action is sinful in itself. None of us should delight in pointing out others’ faults, yet if we truly love each other we should desire to protect our friends in the body of Christ from things outside them as well a things of their own choosing.

Leadership in the body of Christ, in a local fellowship, have the responsibility to see and point out a person who is “DIVISIVE” in that church. The word divisive refers to a person who is obstinate with regards to correction and continues to manifest the same behavior even after they are corrected. These peoples divide the local body and cause conflict rather than unity.

The apostle Paul tells us if a person is warned by their leadership up to two times, meaning the sin is apparent and confirmed, then that person should be rejected from that church until they change their behavior. Rejecting them from fellowship is often the means to awaken those who have sinned. The seriousness of their sin and the discipline should motivate them to repentance rather than just saying they are sorry and continuing to manifest the same behavior.

Titus 3:10-11

Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.                                                                                          You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

Let me clarify that rejecting such a person should not be over some small issue of their conduct, but because of specific sinful actions which will or have started causing division in the body, which is detriment to all. I fear the average believer either is afraid of confronting a friend who walks like this or they themselves are contributing to the same conversation.

I am cautious about this subject of correction because it can give people a false sense of having a license to judge other believers. I assure you this should not be allowed to happen. Rebuking another believer should never be the norm without having a previous relationship of trust developed.  Satan wants nothing better than to see fellow believers rebuking one another with wrong motives.

Jesus gave us the standard of how to deal with sinful behavior in fellow believers. Its intent was always focused on being done in love, and with the goal of restoration. However, sometimes the personal one on one conversation may not move the person using their words to harm others.  Jesus stated then we move to stage two where we bring another person with us to confront the behavior. The purpose is restoration not separation. The last stage is, if the person digs their heels in and refuses to repent, you then move to stage three which is the leadership in a local fellowship. This is the final stage to motivate the person through the threat of being told to leave the church. Truthfully, if a person comes to stage three and haven’t repented more than likely they will leave in anger rather than change. Pride is a terribly strong sin that often holds a believer in the past. At this point only the pain of lost fellowship has the power to soften the heart,

Matthew 18:15-17

“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.                                                                                                                                                          But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 

Jesus goes on in the book of Matthew to say if the first rebuke was fruitless then two or more people should confront the sinful behavior. Why? Because often one person thinking some action is sinful in another does not make is so. Having two or more go together says there is agreement about this behavior, confirms it and the violator now has the choice of humbly admitting or standing their ground in pride.

The final action should be taken if the sinful behavior is still held by the person being challenged. That action is the church leadership confronting this individual. If they still won’t repent then they must be removed from allowing them to participate in church fellowship in any way, either with individuals of that church family or the whole church. Why? Because their behavior, if unchecked, will poison the body.

I have witnessed first hand what happens when a person is removed from a church fellowship and their friends in the body continue to meet with them. The poison creeps into these friends without them knowing it. The end result is the people still left in the fellowship, who hadn’t sinned, never seem to grow because they have now become complicit in the sin of the original person.

The book of James talks about people who desire healing and gives us a firm and sound course of action to release healing. We are wise to follow his instructions.

James 5:16

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. 

Questions:

1) Have you noticed a fellow believer sharing gossip or slandering others. You are called to truly love them by bringing this sin to their attention.

2) Have you realized you may have gossiped or slandered a person behind their backs? God calls you to repent and be cleansed, and to confess the sin to the people you talked with about such sin.

Desiring that the body of Christ would truly love our neighbors as ourselves,

Pastor Dale