Feeling Like No One Cares?

Life has a way of making you feel like no one cares about what you are going through.  Sometimes even God seems included in that.  You can be in a crowd of people and still feel overwhelmed by the sense of abandonment.  Even when the facts speak loudly, our feeling can overwhelm us.

Times like that are a part of the human experience even though we have good friendships with others and call our selves Christians who believe God loves us.  Nevertheless, we can still find ourselves isolated in our souls. Our minds tell us one thing yet our feelings tell us something totally different and those emotions sometimes scream the loudest.

In those times, we need a foundation in our souls that can weather the storm we find ourselves in. That foundation won’t be successful if we try to establish it when we are in the storm but has to be established and relied on when we are centered and calm. It’s during the calm time that we prepare, not during the storm.

There is a story in the book of Luke where Martha is going through a storm in her soul.  She “FEELS” now one cares, even though she “knows” otherwise. One of the few references about Martha is where Jesus is said to “LOVED” Lazarus, Martha and Mary. We all assumed Jesus loved people, especially his disciples, but John goes out of his way to state it in no uncertain terms because John had just written that Lazarus was dying and yet Jesus stayed where he was and didn’t go see him or pray for him, which seemed contrary to acting in love. 

John 11:5 

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.

We all have a problem in reading people’s response in life as it relates to us and others. We misread people’s intentions and motives, which leads us to wrong conclusions. Because we can’t read peoples minds we assume things that may or may not be there and then our friendships go through the proverbial storm. I guess we all go through times like that and Martha was no exception.

One day Martha finds herself hosting a meal in her home. The fact that she opened her home to Jesus also meant she opened her home to his disciples and those that accompanied him. Luke tells us there were many people that traveled with Jesus, both men and women, so it’s not hard to  believe that there could have been 20-30 full time followers going from town to town with Jesus.

Luke 8:1-3 

Now it came to pass, afterward, that He went through every city and village, preaching and bringing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God. And the twelve were with Him, and certain women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities Mary called Magdalene, out of whom had come seven demons, and Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many others who provided for Him from their substance.

Now, in this one time at Martha’s house, she was responsible to make sure everything was prepared and ready. In her business she gets overwhelmed by the responsibility and gets irritated with her sister Mary whom she thinks should shoulder the burden of the event with her.  Yet Mary seemed captivated by Jesus speaking. Martha tells Mary to come help yet Mary was too focused on listening so she couldn’t hear her sisters stress or request. 

I have to believe all of us have been in similar places where we seem to see a need and no one else sees the situation the same way we do and it ends up making us frustrated. Unchecked the frustration can spill over to speaking words we shouldn’t have said, which insulates us more than before and leads to loneliness.

Martha is in the storm of her life when she just wanted to be a blessing to Jesus.  Sometimes we intend to do the right thing and it only ends up blowing up into a mess.   It is in these times that we either overcome or are overcome. 

Martha, at this time, felt the stress of her chosen responsibilities were ignored not only by her sister but Jesus as well. How often have we been overcome to think God doesn’t care because he didn’t produce some miracle to make it all better?  

Luke 10:40 

But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.

If you know this story you know many pastors and teachers criticize Martha’s and make Mary look like a saint yet I see so much more in the story. First, remember scripture says that Jesus loved Lazarus, Martha and Mary. It didn’t say just her brother and sister Mary but all three of them. That is the foundational truth that Martha needed to keep a hold of in her stress and help her gain perspective. Secondly, Martha’s relationship with Jesus was solid enough for her to speak her mind and thoughts to him even if those thoughts and feelings were right or wrong. If we really love God and believe he loves us we should feel the liberty to speak honestly in prayer with him rather than pretending.  Often counseled people who are struggling in their relationship with God need to find some open field somewhere and scream their hearts out to God even if it sounds bad because God loves honesty not pious words.

Martha asks the million dollar question to Jesus about whether he “CARED” about her frustration and relational problem with Mary. I have to believe Martha expected Jesus to do something about the problem without her saying anything about it. We do the same thing when trouble comes our way. We often cry out to God and ask “Don’t You Care” because we thought if he did he would fix things either before they happen or right after they happen. 

When Jesus answered Mary he doesn’t rebuke her or condemn her.  Instead, he says “Martha Martha,” which is like saying I do care. Jesus was showing affection to Martha, not rebuke. Then he identifies the problem of Martha’s pain. It was “WORRY”, not  things like food and drink or cushions or lighting. We often let our feelings override our good judgment when dealing with tough issues. Martha let worry captivate her heart when she was trying to do a good thing by being hospitable.

Luke 10:41-42 

And Jesus answered and said to her, Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.

Jesus was not saying that Mary is the better person at the time but Mary saw what was most important – The Words of Jesus. Maybe the Holy Spirit is speaking to you or someone you know about their focus in the storm right now? We can’t avoid the storms of life but we can keep our focus on Jesus in the storm. 

If you have lost your focus like Martha today, refocus on the person that loves you the most even though “HE” is not fixing the problem right now. Trust him to walk you through the storm until the storm passes and you once again are feeling blessed and happy in the Lord. Your focus and trust will either set you free in Jesus or enslave you if you keep looking at what’s wrong in your life.

One of my favorite verses that helps me to get refocused is in Proverbs 3:5-8

Proverbs 3:5-8 

Trust the LORD with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding. Remember the LORD in all you do, and he will give you success.

Don’t depend on your own wisdom. Respect the LORD and refuse to do wrong. Then your body will be healthy and your bones will be strong!

Questions:

1) Do you find yourself struggling with trusting that God really loves you because of troubles? One of the best things to do is VERBALLY cry out to God in prayer while being brutally honest.

2) Do your worries seem to captivate your heart even more lately? One of the best scriptures to rely on is James 4:7, which identifies the cause and solution.

Trusting that God LOVES us,

Pastor Dale