Are You A “COMMON LAW” Christian?

I heard this statement in a sermon and although it was just a passing comment there is some real validity to it with regards to how so many professing Christians relate to Christ. Many people want to live “WITH” Jesus without the commitment of being married to him. Is this what the New Testament says? Do we have the option of being saved and not being committed? What should a relationship with Jesus look like?

I remember the huge shift concerning marriage and sex in California after the hippy movement started.  Before this time, if two people lived together everyone assumed they were married until something happened like them splitting up. The idea of “Cohabitating” without a marriage covenant was understood as being immoral.  Now, however, it is pretty common place, even to the point of couples having kids and still being unmarried. Somehow living together and having unmarried sex is even accepted with people who claim to have Christ in their lives.

So, why the shift in our idea of what morals are and why marriage is important? First, I think part of it is people don’t read their bible much. Secondly, kids growing up in homes where their parents divorced one or more times often have a deep seated fear of commitment in them and thus having sex before marriage is a kind of a test to see if the relationship is solid or not. Thirdly, our cultural norms are so immoral and twisted because of what is taught in schools and what they see on TV.  This starts kids on a path believing that Christians values are twisted seems out dated and wrong. Fourthly, the hunger to be loved and wanted becomes so important, especially for girls, they are willing to forgo marriage just so they aren’t alone.

The idea of Common law marriage is the practice of cohabitation without true financial commitment. Many couples today live without the covenant of marriage for various reasons but the major reason is they fear losing their hard earned assets if they were ever to be divorced. Truth be told, if they live together and share household assets they are still going to have to split their assets if separated and the lawyers will take a big chunk of their money in the process.

Here is the fact. When two people who are cohabiting have combined their affairs and set up their household together in one dwelling they, in all practical terms, are in a “COMMON LAW” marriage with responsibilities anyway. The standard law in most states defines them as married and responsible to split their assets.

In a similar way to common law relationships, I think many people going to church each week are in fact in a common law relationships with God or at least they think they are. Scripture says we are either married to Christ or we are married to the world and it can’t be both at the same time.

Jesus, at the close of his ministry before the cross, used a parable about ten virgins going to a wedding. The implication is when Jesus returns we will have a wedding of Jesus and his bride, which are the true believers.

Matthew 25:1                                                                                                                                                                                                 “At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten bridesmaids who took their lamps and went to wait for the bridegroom.

In the book of Revelation, God give us a picture of a glorious wedding taking place with Jesus and his “bride”, those who make up the body of Christ on earth.

Revelation 19:7 & 9                                                                                                                                                                                      Let us rejoice and be happy and give God glory, because the wedding of the Lamb has come, and the Lamb’s bride has made herself ready.  [9] And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who have been invited to the wedding meal of the Lamb!” And the angel said, “These are the true words of God.”

The reason I point this out is if a person comes to Jesus for forgiveness then they must be willing to embrace him as the lord of their lives. To think we can accept Jesus for the benefits of forgiveness and not the responsibilities it comes with is to deny the very reason God has given us the offer of forgiveness. So, the bottom line is people who only look for benefits from God really don’t know the Christ of the Bible.

We assume that when a person is identified as a Christian that they will go to heaven when they die. They question is how does God see them and/or relate to them? Jesus made it very clear what he expected from those who say they love him and claim they have a relationship with him.

John 14:21                                                                                                                                                                                                      “He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.”

Jesus says plainly that the love for God is and should be expressed and manifested by how we relate to his commandments and not by how much we like church or worship or any other Christian activity.

Many people are listening to sermons in which the appeal to come to Christ for salvation revolves around and is centered in coming to Jesus to “Fix Our Problems”.  In truth, we come to Christ for him to fix our hearts, which is our main problem. Our problems are manifest because our hearts are out of alignment with God and his word. Granted, God’s heart is to heal us but for what purpose? Is it so we can live happily ever after or is it so that we can live in harmony with the will and purpose of God? And what if the will of God is for us to share our faith in him with unbelievers? Will we refuse God because of persecution? How far will our love extend in order to do the will of God or is our love superficial, “common law” love?

I mentioned the parable of the ten virgins for good reason. In it, Jesus reveals that a good number of people who will expect to be welcomed into God’s kingdom because they claimed the name of Christ will in reality be shut out from the wedding supper of the lamb. Five out of the ten are rejected and that should speak to us.  Jesus is saying that half of those who thought they had eternal security are in fact not secure because they did not maintain their light, which refers to our relationship with the Holy Spirit and Jesus.

Matthew 25:11-12                                                                                                                                                                                     “Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’ “But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’

The point is that when we die “Common Law Christians” will not make the grade because they were not ready and didn’t commit 100% of who they are to their relationship with Christ.  Instead, they held onto their independence and resources for their own personal use rather than Jesus and his kingdom.

Luke 13:23-25                                                                                                                                                                                         Someone asked him, “Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?”He said to them, “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. [25] Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us.’“But he will answer, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’

Don’t accept what I say unless you read the scripture for yourself and you will discover there are no common law Christians in heaven, only those who love him with their whole hearts.

Questions:

1) Is Jesus the lord of your heart or do you just embrace Jesus as a forgiver? The question to ask yourself is where you stand with Jesus if he came back today.

2) Are there parts of your life that are off limits to God? Remember that he sees it all and only unconfessed sin can keep you from his grace.

May the Holy Spirit help us to surrender what is lacking in our relationship so that we please our Heavenly Father.

Pastor Dale