Who Do You Blame?

Ever notice how we automatically blame someone or something when things go wrong? My personality leans toward looking for what’s missing and identifying the missing element. I have always been a trouble-shooter at heart and it has gotten me into some tight spots with people. Sometimes my analysis comes off as judgmental and, even though what I see or don’t see is true, my method of revealing those facts hasn’t always been with tack or wisdom.  

I watched the movie “Murder on the Orient Express” the other day and if you haven’t seen it yet it’s a great movie with a amazing cast of actors. The chief inspector, who is world-famous for solving tough cases, wants a holiday from the burden and stress so he finds himself riding a luxury train for relaxation.  That’s where things go awry and he once again is in the thick of things trying to solve a murder. The reason I bring this up is that the inspectors is wired for seeing what’s out of place. It’s how he solves the many difficult crimes that no one else was been able to. I relate to his “Bent” of looking for things as they “Should Be” all the while living with things as they are:  out of order, messed up and/or corrupt.

If I don’t watch myself I can move from seeing what’s wrong in any given citation to “Who” is wrong.  One point of view sees the broken out-of-order thing and then extrapolates that to blaming people without knowing why or why not. It would be like seeing a person speeding down the road and driving like a crazy person and concluding the person is a fool or and idiot! I hate to admit it but I am that person….at times.  But what if the speeding driver was rushing to take their pregnant wife to the hospital or some other true emergency?  I think you get my point that it’s easy to blame others when we are inconvenienced or delayed. I did it this morning with a chaser at Lowes because the person was elderly and slow. I pray for patience and forgiveness all the time.

If we look at the history of our first parents, Adam and Eve, we see the same thing….trying to place blame where it doesn’t belong.

Genesis 3:12                                                                                                                                                                                             

The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.”

What did Adam do when confronted with his sin? First, he blamed God for giving her to him and then he blamed the woman for “forcing” him to eat the forbidden fruit. I see the same behavior in my grandkids. When they make a mistake they know they shouldn’t have done they immediately look for a sibling to blame.  Why? Because all of us want to shift the blame onto someone else rather than being responsible.

Abraham’s wife finds herself not being able to have a child and she first again blames God for her infertility.

Genesis 16:2                                                                                                                                                                                                 

So Sarai said to Abram, “Now behold, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I will obtain children through her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.

Before we blame her for the “Blame Game” let’s realize we all have done similar things when we were growing up. For my part, when I grew up I was terrified of my father’s temper and his big black belt. When someone broke a drinking glass he would ask who did it. I knew my brother did it, but he was four years older than me and told me he would beat me up if I told on him. So, here the three of us are. Standing in front of my dad with his big black belt. He would say, “I’m going to give each of you a swat of my belt until one of you confesses.” He would swing at my brother first, who he made out like it really hurt. Then my sister, who was two years older would be asked the same question, “Did you break the glass?” and she would reply “No, dad” and dad would swing the belt against her behind. She cried more than my brother!  Then he would look at me and say, “Dale did you break the glass? I would yell out yes I did it. Why, you may ask?  You see I thought in my child’s mind that if I confessed he wouldn’t hit me. But you guessed what followed next. He would hit me multiple times because I didn’t confess up front. As an adult, I think we all hate it when we think kids lie to us so this beating was more my fault than my dad’s.

Jesus was teaching one day about being responsible with the talents we each have been given to illustrate that one day we will have to give an account of our life. The parable he used to illustrate this principle of responsibility was a master giving three different servants money to invest. When the king returned he did an accounting of their efforts or the lack thereof. The first two servants did well and doubled what they were given. Then the third servant, who only was given a small amount of money, was brought before his mater to explain his labor but instead of being like the others before him he blamed the master for his lack of fruitfulness and in fact called the master a hard man who was basically was cheating people. Not a great way to win favor.

Matthew 25:24                                                                                                                                                                                             

He who had received one talent also came forward, saying, Master, I knew you to be a harsh and hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you had not winnowed [the grain].

 When we were young we were supposed to learn about honesty and responsibility. Unfortunately, some of us didn’t learn those important lessons from our parents or teachers. Some of us, like myself, had to learn these lessons the hard way through bad experiences. The important thing is that we learn them. How unfortunate if even after coming to Christ for forgiveness and being cleansed from our mistakes we go right on blaming others for our failures rather than admitting when we have chosen wrongly or outright lied to gain an advantage.

Here is the conclusion. Put the brakes on your soul before you blame others. Seek the strength and wisdom of the Holy Spirit before you speak and, if another person is to blame for whatever issue you have, ask the Holy Spirit to help you not be judgmental…. even if you are right!

Questions:

1) Do you struggle with blaming people either in your mind or with your mouth? Ask the Lord’s forgiveness and take it a step further and ask for help before the next opportunity.

2) If you have blamed someone unjustly you should go to them and apologize? God is not the only one we often sin against. Sometimes people have been wounded by our words and need healing from us.

Paul told the Philippians Christians to “Work Out Their Salvation” and I think we need to do the same if we hope to please the Lord and be cleansed from our mistakes.

Pastor Dale