Challenging Men to be Men

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend a “Strong Men’s Conference” at my church in Charlotte, North Carolina that was both inspiring and challenging. Men in particular need the challenge to rise above the day-to-day things of life and focus on one key question……Are they acting like men or lambs?

I know in our culture the masculine role has been reduced to look more like lambs than lions, but is this right? It all to often has brought us to the place were men don’t know what they are supposed to be or act like. Men are told to be more tender, more emotionally centered, more like women in our day, but I think this is so wrong. Yes, we as men need to be more open about how and what we feel, but not at the expense of being what God called us to be. Men!

If you take the scripture literally, and I do, then you believe that God was the one who created us male and female. Not female and emasculated male! I know I’m going to get some criticism for saying this, but this part of the problem in our families and culture today.  Boys don’t know how to be men because men don’t know who they are meant or designed to be.  Scripture calls us to lead, protect and provide for the family.

In my kid’s families, my daughter has three girls and my son has three boys. When you watch these two different groups of kids play, you will notice they are wired very differently. The boys want to play in the dirt, take chances that can lead to injury and roundhouse with their dad. They love their mother, but instinctively they are wired for challenge. If the boys parents instill in them a solid perspective of values from God’s word, they will become healthy men who love challenges both physical and intellectual.

At this conference, one of the challenges men are told we as men often face is having broken areas of our lives attributed to our relationships with our fathers. No father is perfect even at his best, but especially if our dads were not Christians walking daily with God. Boys take cues from their fathers and rightly so, but what if over half of the boys being raised today come from divorced families? The damage to self-esteem and a multitude of other issues arise and often control our present and future choices. But what if we can identify what men are called to be and do in life? Wouldn’t men be healthier and happier? Wouldn’t their wives and kids be better for it?

Let’s review a little history to gain some perspective on how men act when they don’t know how to be the kind of men God has called them to be. Israel has just left Egypt and though they are free from their slave owners, they are not free from their past of walking in fear when difficult things confront them.

Numbers 13:1-3      “God Instructed to send out Spies”

Then the LORD spoke to Moses saying, [2] “Send out for yourself men so that they may spy out the land of Canaan, which I am going to give to the sons of Israel; you shall send a man from each of their fathers’ tribes, every one a leader among them.” [3] So Moses sent them from the wilderness of Paran at the command of the LORD, all of the men who were heads of the sons of Israel. 

These twelve guys come back and report the land God brought them is everything God said it was, but they are afraid to fight for the promises of God. The truth is people had been pushing Moses about sending out spies first before God said ok. This is the only reason God told Moses to send the spies. How often do we beg God to give us something, when in the end bites us in the butt? God will accommodate us if we keep asking. Look at the whole story.

Deuteronomy 1:21-23     “The Truth About the Spies”

See, the LORD your God has placed the land before you; go up, take possession, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has spoken to you. Do not fear or be dismayed.’[22] “Then all of you approached me and said, ‘Let us send men before us, that they may search out the land for us, and bring back to us word of the way by which we should go up and the cities which we shall enter.’ [23] “The thing pleased me and I took twelve of your men, one man for each tribe.” 

Men need to be challenged to face their fears and be overcomers, but with every right challenge there needs to be “Lead Men” who sound the call to take a stand. Men who have already learned to be men of courage and strength. I am grateful for this last men’s conference, which happens once a year, to rally men to be men. Every church needs to have this kind of event to focus men, but they also need other times throughout the year to keep the challenge fresh and alive. We need to be reminded of things we have seen and done to fuel our courage.

Deuteronomy 11:7-9        “Cultivating Encouragement”

But your own eyes have seen all the great work of the LORD which He did. [8] “You shall therefore keep every commandment which I am commanding you today, so that you may be strong and go in and possess the land into which you are about to cross to possess it; [9] so that you may prolong your days on the land which the LORD swore to your fathers to give to them and to their descendants, a land flowing with milk and honey.” 

God’s challenges are always encouraged by the expectation of reward. God promises us that if we follow his commands and love him first and foremost, he will bless our every step. Strength and courage are not automatic things.  They must be nurtured and cultivated in a culture of encouragement. Do our churches cultivate such an environment for men to grow into their manhood? If not, why not?

Deuteronomy 31:6     “Men’s Calling to be Strong & Courageous”

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.”

Joshua 1:5-7 Challenge of Being Strong & Courageous 

No man will be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you. [6] “Be strong and courageous, for you shall give this people possession of the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. [7] “Only be strong and very courageous; be careful to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may have success wherever you go. 

Far too many churches and men’s groups are a side issue for a small number of men. If they do any kind of event it is often very lackluster and only has an effect that lasts for that weekend at best.  However, if the senior pastor is the lead challenger men will rise with great strength and courage. Look what happened to Israel when leadership forgot to challenge men to be men. All Israel suffered and fell away from a relationship with the God of miracles. They only remember stories their grandfathers had told them. They failed to drive out the bad influences of a corrupt culture.

Judges 1:28        “Compromise on God’s Instructions”                                                                                                                                          It came about when Israel became strong, that they put the Canaanites to forced labor, but they did not drive them out completely.

Judges 2:10       “Not Passing On The Challenge”                                                                                                                                                 All that generation also were gathered to their fathers; and there arose another generation after them who did not know the LORD, nor yet the work which He had done for Israel.

Questions:

Are there men around you who challenge you to be the kind of man God has called you to be? If not, find some.

Are you called to be the man who challenges and encourage men to follow you? If so, be that man.

May God raise up leaders to lead men to be all they can be.

Pastor Dale