One of the few things children are not taught is how to be humble enough to ask for help regularly. If you were encouraged to ask, you were a fortunate child. As adults, we assume kids will figure out they need others in their lives to learn and navigate this life. Too often, kids experience criticism in their quest to learn and end up being afraid of showing any kind of weakness with regards to their intelligence or skills.
All to often, when kids become adults, they carry this baggage of insecurity in their souls, which cheats them of a rich life with others. With all the electronic devices we use, we have become so unaccustomed to asking for help from another human being, and instead, refer to the internet to solve our ignorance or lack of inexperience. Now the internet is a great tool, like all the YouTube tutorials, but t’s so sad that we are becoming more insecure rather than well-balanced as human beings because of using it. Texting, emails and the like are convenient, but have a cost of isolation and further awkwardness in interacting with others.
I recently had a car that had a warning system that told me when there was a car or vehicle approaching in my “Blind Spot”, in case I decide to pull into their lane and cause an accident. When I got the car with this feature, I was thrilled, even though I consider myself a very good driver. I had one fender-bender when I was 16 years old, and that was over me backing out of a parking place while another car was driving fast through the parking lot. I’m now 66 years old and still have a clean driving record.
Here’s the problem. This warning system, though costly to design and install, was faulty. I would pull up to a stop sign, and the warning system would go off with a loud audio signal (siren) and my dashboard screen would freak out with flashing lights and symbols. Needless to say, it bugged me. I took the car in to the shop a total of five times over the course of 2 years to get it repaired, yet it still flipped out when I least expected it. They replaced the computers wiring harness throughout the whole length of the car and still they couldn’t discover the base-line problem. I sympathize over the difficulty of discovering the issue, but wanted it fixed. As a former auto mechanic, one of my specialties was in the area of trouble shooting electrical problems. I once worked for Bell Telephone Company as a mechanic supervisor. One of the vehicles would come in for a short in the wiring about every 3-4 months. The dashboard fuel gauge would short out. In the end, after trail and error, I found a short in the wiring system that was caused by a faulty back-up bulb! Remember, I sympathize, but not enough to let my problem continue.
This is where I’m going with this topic about our potential “Blind Spots”…
First, we need stop trying to proving we are capable. Nobody is perfect, especially when they go it alone. Maybe you got yelled at as a kid. Maybe your teachers made you feel like a fool when asking questions. Get over it and move on. Don’t let the enemy of your soul rob you and your journey through insecurity or pride. It takes a strong person to admit they need help and then act on that truth. We can’t just think about truth setting us free. We must act on it. If it takes going to a dozen people to find the right mentor or coach, don’t give up. Remember the words of Jesus about the truth that will set you free? The first part of his conversation was about discipleship (mentoring). Walking in fellowship with the Son of God makes us disciples and then we will know the truth and it will set us free.
John 8:31-32
31Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. 32And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Secondly, we all need help with our “Blind Spot”. Blind spots cause us problems in our life journey. If we try to navigate life purely on our perspective, more than likely we are going to get in trouble. No matter how smart and experienced you become in life, you need others to give you perspective. If the warning system in my car worked well, it would have been a great help, but it was defective. Some people have others who give them perspective, but unfortunately they also have faulty perspective. I had to turn the car into the dealership I bought it from after 2 years of them trying to fix the problem. There comes a point where you have to cut your losses and move on. If the people you have in your life are not helping you to do better in life, maybe you need different friends.
Proverbs 20:18
Plans succeed through good counsel; don’t go to war without the advice of others.
Lastly, don’t just ask anyone or the person you like the best. Look for a person that knows God intimately. Look for a person that is living where you want to go. A person that has demonstrated through the fruit of their own life they know what they are talking about with regards to following God and seeking help from others. There are so many people who talk a good talk, but don’t walk a good walk. Look for a person you respect more than you like. Ask them to mentor you for a season. Don’t expect they will be with you forever, but for a season. If something develops as a long-term friendship great, but don’t make that a requirement. When we trust God, He will put people in our path that He will use to guide us in things we need to learn about. I have had many people invest in me over the years, and I, in turn, invest in others.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.
Let me add one thing: If someone is willing to invest time in you, find ways to bless them for their investment. Don’t just be a taker, but find ways to be a blessing to them.
Questions:
1) Has God been speaking to you about humbling yourself and seeking counsel? Act on it today. Don’t wait another minute.
2) Are you looking for a wiser person than yourself or just a friend? The wiser person is what you need more than a friend. Friends are nice but advisers are a must.
May God cause us to grow healthily as we seek counsel.
Pastor Dale
I am enjoying your blogs and being blessed by them. 🙂
Thank you. You always leave me with challenging things to think about. I miss that from you being absent from out Tuesday breakfasts at SAL.
Hi Pastor Dale,
I attend Abundant Life. Love your blog. I just want to say that one statement that stood out was when you mentioned “get over it and move on” is difficult for me to do at times. I wish I could have an instant healing of the hurts in life to just move on and trust another person with some of the difficulties in my life. I feel reluctant to expose what really hidden within.
Hi Pauline
Satan uses the hurts in our lives, especially from others, but he came only do so if we are rehearsing them over and over again in our mind. The Apostle Paul talked about renewing our mind (thinking) and not being conformed by the way the world thinks in Rom 12:1-2.
If you fill your life with the purpose of God which is heavenly engaged in ministering to people you build memories of fruitfulness and that will over shadow the pain till the pain is a distant memory. Satan’s desire is to get you to relive the past and get you stuck there. God’s desire is to get you heading towards the future.
Good book to read is “The Bait of Satan” by John Beveer which should be in the book store.